Meowlin showdown
by Samura Sheikah
Summary: From the writer of Tail of KaGae KatNappa Steals the new Wu The soul of Sei Ping and uses it to turn everyone in the world into Kittens! How will the warriors win when they can't even use the toilet? COMPLETE! NO MORE FOR YOU!
1. The plan

Hi Hi! This is almost a sequel to the "tail of Ka-gae" But not the same story. It should be almost as good too!

I DO NOT own Raimundo (as much as I'd like to) or any of the other Characters in Xiaolin showdown.

Apologies! Apparently they DO sell Orange Tic Tacs separately now!

Sorry for spelling Katnappa wrong, I do Japanese and the sounds are different!

The sky swirled black with thick clouds spewing rain and sleet. The sky spat thunder as Clay and Katnappa raced along logs floating in a bayou.

"Keep up kitty!" Clay boasted as he sprang from log to log.

"Oh, I intend to!" She grinned pulling the lotus twister from her backpack. "LOTUS TWISTER!" She snarled, her arms stretching out far in front of her.

"Almost there…" Clay muttered to himself as he bolted towards the Wu.

"Gotcha!" Katnappa grinned, grabbing the Shen Gong Wu in her elongated hand.

"Darn!" Clay said Slipping and falling into the filthy bog water.

"Nia Ha! I win Xiaolin dorks! And you'll regret making fun of my kitties!" Katnappa said darting off into the distance.

The Other Dragons hopped to Clay's side as the battle arena turned to its normal, serine state.

"How could you loose the 'soul of Sai Ping'?" Omi Whined, his bottom lip quivering.

"Omi, Get over it! Its just one Wu, there are plenty more!" Raimundo snapped.

"But I really wanted to turn into any animal!" Omi whined.

"Rai is right Omi, we'll get the next one, and then we can win the soul back!" Kimiko said looking down at her palm laptop.

Rai glared at that particular palm laptop with contempt after a certain…. 'Incident' the previous week.

"Admittedly, the power to take the form of any animal would be pretty cool, but what we should be worrying about is why Katnappa has started chasing Wu again, She's not working for Wuya…" Rai said in deep thought.

"I say let her keep it! She's always wanted to be a cat, why not let her?" Clay said wringing out his sodden hat.

Dojo slithered from Kimiko's backpack and grew big enough for all four Dragons to ride him.

"What would Cat Nappe want with the soul of Sai ping?" Kimiko pondered, tapping on her Palm laptop.

"Yeah, the only way she could do any harm with it is if she had the reversing mirror, and Jack Spicer has that." Rai said

The scene cut to Jacks evil lair. Katnappa is rummaging through Jack's Shen Gong Wu Closet.

"There it is! The 'Reversing mirror'!" Katnappa said grinning.

"Yes Cat Nappe, this is just what we need to…" Wuya said

Jack Walking in to the room interrupted her, adorned with his evening gown, fluffy pink slippers and a mug of hot beverage.

"Wuya, what are you doing with Ashley and my Wu?" Jack Whined.

"I'm Joining Cat Nappe now, she has a far more ingenious evil plan than you could ever have concocted!" Wuya snarled.

"Later Whiner!" Katnappa grinned, jumping up the stairs in a flash of black.

"I DO NOT WHINE!" Jack Whined.

Back at the Temple, the four Warriors lay down in bed. Clay took off his hat and hung it on a hook on the wall. Omi Crammed in those last few leopard attacks before bed. Kimiko typed away on her laptop, putting pictured of Rai in a dress on her website for all he friends in Tokyo. Rai Pulled off his soggy, bog soiled shoes and threw them aside. A Great Black scorpion crawled out and scuttled towards Omi's room (Toilet cubicle).

"Omi, You might want to check your bed, I think a scorpion just crawled under your pillow." Rai said concerned.

"I an not fooled by your foolish pranks Raimundo, we don't get scorpions in the temple!" Omi Trilled, lying down.

Raimundo shrugged and turned off his light. Soon they all did the same and the room became still, black and Silent.

At Katnappa's lair, she grinned, holding up the queer golden orb in her claws.

"Soul of Sai ping!" She said

"Reversing mirror!" Wuya yelled.

A Burst of light shot fourth from the Shen Gong Wu as Katnappa laughed her evil trademark laugh.

"Those Xiaolin loosers will have no idea what hit them!" Katnappa laughed

"And with them out of the way, we'll be free to take over the world!" Wuya laughed with her.

COMMERCIAL BREAK! You snarl at the TV, angry that this section didn't last nearly as long as those in "The Tail of Ka-Gae" But you have to remember that the writer does not get paid for this and she does have exams to do as well!


	2. Finding out

Y'all scoot back to the Television faster than a horse strapped to a…

Clay! You said I could write the filler!

Darn it Rai! Look what ya' made me do! Now I'll have to start over!

Do you have to use so many exclamation marks?

You're workin' my last nerves partner!

Ok I think its Time to get on with the episode now, the commercials sucked.

I'LL TELL THEM WHAT TO THINK! … The commercials sucked so lets get on with the show.

Jerk.

The whole temple was as dark as a moonless night. The only motion was the flicker of the last candle down the hall (Dojo liked to have a nightlight and couldn't afford the ones Panda bubba sells) Raimundo, waking up for his usual midnight snack of chocolate and whatever pizza Clay didn't eat, crawled out from under the covers dazed. He looked around the room and it seemed so much bigger.

"Omi, Have you been playing with the reversing mirror and the changing chopsticks again?" Rai asked, but his question was met by a sharp snore and Omi chattered:

"Snore…. Yes Kimiko I would very much like a back massage…Sn…Snore"

Rai shrugged and headed for the kitchen. The halls seemed so big and so much longer than in the day. He stopped for a minute and wiped his brow.

"Maybe I shouldn't have shared that expired cheese pizza with Clay…" He groaned.

After what seemed like an eternity he finally got to the fridge, which now seemed like a skyscraper. Raimundo looked up for a second wondering how he would open it, then gave up and headed back to bed.

Kimiko was the next to wake. Every night shortly after Rai's snack she would go on a game website on her Palm laptop and game for a few hours. There was never enough time in the day, what with training and Shen Gong Wu searches.

As usual she pushed back the covers and reached for her palm laptop.

When her hand hit something huge she thought she had touched the wall, but upon closer inspection it was her palm laptop.

"That's odd… I don't remember it being that big. Maybe I shouldn't have shared that expired cheese pizza with Rai…" She Muttered

She pulled the covers back over and went to sleep.

A Little while later, Clay awoke to continue his whittling. He pulled down the covers and reached for his pocket-knife, but his hand couldn't grab.

He yawned assuming his lack of co-ordination was due to insufficient sleep and reached with the other hand to grab his carved bull.

Again, he couldn't grab and knocked everything on his bedside trunk onto the floor. There was a loud crash, of which the only repercussions were the ground shaking a little, and Rai muttering:

"Wa! Don't shoot! I have a wife and cabbage…. snore… Cumquat…snore…" In his sleep.

Clay shrugged.

"Maybe I shouldn't have shared that expired cheese pizza with Kimiko." Clay muttered before heading off to sleep.

The last to wake was Omi. He threw off the covers and skittered off down the hall.

When out in the courtyard where no one could hear him, he practiced he leopard attack, with much more success than usual.

He didn't seem to notice anything being bigger. Being small helps in that aspect.

"Hmm, my leopard attack is much more successful than usual. Maybe I shouldn't have watched Raimundo, Kimiko and Clay share that expired cheese pizza." He thought to himself.

After an hour or so of good moves he crawled back to bed, pondering the purpose of dresses.

Early that morning, the four dragons awoke at the same time.

"Morning guys." Raimundo yawned stretching; his eyes still glued shut with sleep gunk.

"Morning Rai." Kimiko said rolling over a few times.

"Man I had the weirdest dream last night." Rai muttered rubbing his eyes.

"Me too." Kimiko said yawning.

"Ya got that right." Clay muttered.

"Everything" Rai Said.

"Was" Kimiko interrupted.

"Real Big" Clay finished.

The three fell silent for a second as they all opened their eyes at once to see that everything was still big.

"Ok… What is going on?" Rai said walking out of his little sleeping cubicle jig.

Kimiko screamed as she saw Rai.

"What?" Raimundo yawned.

"Have you been playing with the monkey staff again?" Kimiko shrieked.

"No, you know I gave that up!" He replied.

"Then what's with the tail?" Clay muttered.

"Tail?" Rai said confused. He turned to look and almost had a heart attack. "What in the name of Rio?"

"Eek!" Kimiko screamed, "I've got one too!"

She picked up her mirror (She always had a mirror handy for making herself look beautiful in a crisis). Her ears were larger, she had a tiny pink nose and whiskers and paws instead of hands.

"Guys, you'd best take a look…" Kimiko said tossing Raimundo the mirror. He tried to grab it but his fingers were too short and it hit the ground with a smash. "Rai! You just got me seven years bad luck!" Kim snarled pulling another identical mirror from her bag and sliding it over to Rai. He looked at his face and smiled.

"Hey, I'm a cat! Rad!" He grinned licking his paw and running it through his hair to flatten down a stray patch.

"This is no joke Rai! We've all been turned into cats!" Clay said inspecting his little pink nose in the mirror.

"But its cool! I have whiskers now so I can ram my head into really small spaces and know if I can get it out, without making Omi help me!" Raimundo Grinned.

"We'd best go check it the others are alright… wait, where is Omi?" Kimiko said.

A loud cry alerted their attention and the three kittens darted down the hall to the bathroom. The all pushed on the door so it opened to see Omi in the toilet.

"A little help please, I cannot get out of the toilet!" Omi cried flailing his paws.

"We'll help you!" Kimiko said leaping up onto the seat and pulling Omi out.

"Thank you Kimiko… Do you realise you are a cat?" Omi said.

"Have you looked in a mirror?" Rai said chasing his tail.

"How did this happen?" Omi cried.

"More importantly how do we use the bathroom?" Rai said stopping for a second.

"I guess we'll just have to use Dojo's litter tray." Kimiko said.

They went into Dojo's room and Dojo Glared at them.

"If you think you can use my litter tray forget it! A dragon needs his privacy!" Dojo snapped.

"But I really need to go! How do you do it?" Rai asked sheepishly.

"Well… I guess you just squat." Kimiko said.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well turn around, I can't do it with you all watching!" Rai said, his cheeks going red with embarrassment.

"Seeing Raimundo squat like this reminds me of a dream I keep having, it is a cold night and…" Omi trilled

"Lets keep this on a need to know basis." Kimiko snapped.

END OF EPISODE! Stay tuned for the next episode that comes on same time tomorrow, or if you are a sad looser like me who has nothing better to do you can watch the re showing at 8.30, then watch recorded episodes for the rest of the night. (Note: Freeze frame your recorded episodes of Xiaolin Showdown on most any scene where Rai and Kim are alone, then go one scene at a time. You will notice that in almost every scene, Rai turns to look at Kim for a short time.)


	3. STOP SPEAKING SPANISH!

I can't think of anything amusing to say.

The scene opens with a wide view of the Dragon-kittens in the sleeping Quarters.

Raimundo's happy grin elongated as he grasped his tail in both paws and bit it.

"Rai! Will you stop playing around? We have to see if everyone else is alright." Kimiko snapped.

"Will you relax Kimiko," Rai said rolling over on his side.

"Relax? I've been turned into a cat, HOW DO I BRUSH MY HAIR?" She snapped.

"Wow, big loss. Tell me, one thing that does not completely rule about being a cat?" Raimundo asked

Kimiko put her paws to her face and thought for a second, then an evil grin crossed her face.

"We can't stand upright." She grinned.

"So?" Raimundo said pawing at a small fly hovering above

"You can't go surfing." She grinned evilly.

Raimundo's expression of oblivious contentment dropped into a terrified gaze of pure fear

"And our hands can't hold anything." Kimiko mused.

Raimundo bit his bottom lip and cried, "No! Now I can't play guitar anymore!"

Everyone looked at him confused.

"Rai, you don't play guitar." Clay said.

"I was taking lessons to impress Kimiko." Rai said looking down at his paws.

"Oh great, impressing. You boys are so shallow!" Kimiko snapped.

"_Kimiko, yo le encuentro muy atractivo. Sin embargo no parece que usted hace appriciate mi compañía. Si esto es tan entonces soy mucho arrepentido que mi comportamiento no encuentra sus esperanzas. Adiós Kimiko, yo le perderé_." Raimundo spouted

"Pardon?" Kimiko said, turning her kitten head on one side

"I was being dramatic and you ruined it!" Rai growled

"Kittens can't be dramatic, they're too cute!" Kim snarled

Their eyes met in glares for a second. Their gazes both unwavering as they snarled.

Rai suddenly stopped snarling and inappropriately said,

"You know, that little pink nose makes you look kind of _Mono_," he smiled

"Mono?" Kim growled

"Cute I think" Said Clay pawing through the pages of a Spanish dictionary. (Why there was a Spanish dictionary in the temple I don't know!)

Kimiko's eyes growled and Rai's ears fell flat against his head, smiled closing his eyes, and a sweat mark dripped down his face.

"Can't you see I was only _bromeando_?" Rai jittered.

"Will you start speaking English so we can get on with the plot?" Clay said licking his paws.

"是的，你的一種新奇的語言的使用最大限度地在嘗試！" Omi shouted, his teeth going all pointy.

Everyone looked at him, then shrugged and assumed he had said something about their language.

"Anyways, we should see if master Fung is.." Raimundo said but was cut off by Master Fung walking in the room, half tripping over his white robes, now too long for him.

"Dragons, we appear to have a problem…" Master Fung said Tripping and falling on his face, hitting his kitten nose on the floor.

"Yes indeed we do Master Fung, Raimundo will not stop speaking Spanish! I believe that this is his decent into evil as the spirits of darkness are using his unworthy body as a vessel to transport their unholy message of doom!" Omi shouted.

Everyone looked at Omi, eyebrows raising slightly.

"Omi, if you are trying to insinuate that I am an incarnation of the antichrist I think you should clean out your brain with absinth. I was just talking to my in-laws in Rio and they don't speak such good English so I used my native tongue. Un-der-stand?" Rai growled slowly so it would sink in to Omi's broad skull.

"I think so." Omi said.

"When did you have time to call your in-laws Rai?" Clay asked

"During the commercial break. Now if we're done with conspiracy theories I think master Fung was going to suggest something." Rai growled.

They all turned to look at Master Fung.

Master Fung looked around, beads of sweat forming on his forehead that were just visible beneath his soft black fur.

"Sorry dragons but, I have nothing." Master Fung said, breaking the awkward silence.

Everyone fell back in shock, in the typical cartoon style where it all happens in one frame and their legs fly in the air twitching.

"So what do we do now?" Kimiko said

"We're as unlucky as a squirrel who had his nut store raided!" Clay said.

"SQUIRREL? WHERE!" Omi screamed looking around frantically, then deciding the best thing to do would be to hide under Raimundo's robes. "Raimundo, do you realize you have a comically misshapen vegetable stuck in your…"

"Anyway! I bet it was Katnappa who did this, she must have teamed up with Wuya and used the reversing mirror to turn the whole world into cats so she could control them easily." Raimundo said.

"How do you know all this?" Kimiko asked.

"I saw this episode a few hours ago, this is the Eight- thirty re-run." Raimundo smiled

"Freak…" Kimiko said

"_espantapájaros_!" Raimundo said

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Clay Snapped.

"no no! Its not rude it means scarecrow!" Raimundo said.

They all looked at him oddly, eyebrows raising.

"Why did you say scarecrow?" Kimiko asked

Raimundo shrugged and licked his paw. "anyway.." He said between laps "We should go to Katnappa's lair and find out how to turn us all back, I'll go because Wuya will believe me if I go to their side." Raimundo continued.

"Can we have just ONE episode where you don't go evil Rai?" Kimiko protested.

"No. the fans like it." Raimundo said, finding a bug in his matted fur and promptly swallowing it whole, grinning happily as he did it.

COMMERCIAL BREAK!

That string of Spanish Rai sprouted earlier roughly means:

__

Kimiko, I find you very attractive. Nevertheless does not it seem that you do appreciate my company. If this is so then I am a lot repented that my behavior does not find its hopes. Good-bye Kimiko, I will lose you.

Pathetic huh?

And yes, if you know Spanish, Rai does refer to Kim as a man in some places. The translations being imperfect makes it funnier!


	4. Don't mess with the writer!

This'll be the fourth chapter now I think, thanks to everyone who reads this! Please enjoy. This should be funnier if you have a cay so pet owners should get most of it!

The commercial break ends to show kitty Raimundo walking up to his sleeping quarters, his tail violently flicking from side to side as Kimiko latches onto his leg, making it hard to walk.

"Please Rai, don't do this!" She pleaded.

He looked at her with pure frustration and shook his leg. She wouldn't let go.

"What difference does it matter if I go evil? You beat the poop out of me either way!" Raimundo growled.

"Rai, is this about the palm lap top? You know I didn't mean it! I was only kidding!" Kimiko blushed, rubbing the back of her neck (or at least trying to but when her kitty paws wouldn't reach that far she stopped).

"No, This isn't about the laptop, I'm trying to find a way to turn you all back into humans. If Katnappa and Wuya think I'm on their side they might change me back, or at least I could overhear them talking about it." Raimundo said, taking advantage of Kimiko's stance to shake her off.

"So, you aren't really going evil?" She asked.

Rai wagged his tail in her face.

"Of course not _estupido! _I'm just going to make them think I am!" He grinned walking over to his clothes.

Kimiko sighed with relief and Rai's smug expression dropped as he picked up his shirt, now about three times the size of him.

"Great! How am I meant to save the world in a bed robe?" Raimundo growled frustrated.

"Why do you always wear that Tic-Tac coloured old thing anyway?" Dojo said, fingering through a book called _"How to house-train your kittens"_.

"I happen to like Tic-Tacs! They remind me of Rio!" Rai said kicking his paws.

"How?" Clay asked walking in.

"Do I need to explain everything to you?" Rai snarled, trying to clamber into his shirt, but it was the size of a small tent. "Dojo, can you fix up my shirt?" Rai asked.

"Can jellyfish kill you?" Dojo said.

Rai's eyes widened and he looked around frantically, tripping over his shirt and getting tangled up in a mass of orange and lime cotton.

"I have a suggestion!" Omi trilled through a mouthful of butterfly wings, walking happily into the room and depositing the contents of his mouth in the middle of the floor.

"Well don't leave us hangin' there Omi, tell us." Clay said

"Why don't we pretend to be evil so…" Omi began.

"Already got that one covered chrome dome, you should really listen when I tell you stuff!" Raimundo interrupted but Omi ignored his and kept on talking, until eventually Kimiko chloroformed him.

Dojo looked at Omi, peacefully passed out on the floor and decided it would be a good plan to fix up Rai's clothes.

Rai battled in futility to escape the dreadful grasp of his favourite shirt, and was eventually liberated by Kimiko, who was getting annoyed by the cute 'meowing' noised Rai made in frustration.

"I'm more hungry than a fat man outside a cake shop, can we get somethin' to eat?" Clay said. Rai and Kim both looked him, eyebrows rising slightly.

"I ran out of western metaphors to use." Clay shuffled awkwardly.

"Yess!" Kimiko hissed happily looking at Raimundo, "That's a week of chores you owe me!"

"Why did I make that stupid bet?" Rai muttered awkwardly as the three walked out of the room, leaving Omi sleeping peacefully on the floor, and Dojo sewing clothes.

"So, what do we eat if we can't reach the fridge?" Kimiko said.

"Grass!" Clay said.

"…Grass?" Kimiko said with an uncertain tone. She didn't know if he was joking until he squatted down and began to chew on long blades.

Rai and Kimiko stared in an awkward and grim curiosity.

"Join in Guys, its great!" Clay said, spitting green specks all over Kim. She shuddered as she wiped it off.

"You missed some!" Rai said, licking his paw and running it through Kim's hair to get out all the grass.

She shuddered and jumped away. "Get off me! You boys are sick!" Kimiko spat, following a fly with her head, snapping at it, then eating it.

She licked her lips oblivious to the eyes of Raimundo and Clay staring at her in a confused disgust.

Rai shook his head and snapped, "This is all the writers fault! We wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for the stupid writers? DO YOU HEAR ME! YOUR STORY SUCKS!"

"Shh! Raimundo! Don't insult the writer, She has… Powers!" Kimiko barked.

"Oh, big almighty writer, what is she going to exactly, re-cast me?" Raimundo snapped. (not a bad idea, maybe that'll be my next fic!)

Suddenly the temple disappeared and the four Xiaolin dragon cats were sitting on a dark mountain in the middle of nowhere.

"What happened?" Rai asked looking around.

"What happened?" Kimiko Twitched. "WHAT HAPPENED YOU ASK? YOU insulted the writer! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED! ME AND CLAY WARNED YOU…" Kimiko screeched, her head growing to over half the size of the screen and crushing Rai into a corner. His ears dropped back flat against his head and he waved a little white flag as Kimiko Continued to rant.

"COMICALLY MISHAPEN VEGETABLE!" She finished, panting and calming down slightly.

"You done yet?" Rai Cautiously asked.

"No, not quite, just let me… just let me catch my breath… Deep breath… IF YOU EVER…" She began again, her voice a violent hurricane almost blowing Rai off the screen, but he managed to latch onto Clay.

She Finally Calmed down and looked around. Omi was watching a bee fly around his head.

"Where are we anyway?" Rai said looking around.

"Looks like the middle o' nowhere to me." Clay contributed.

"Great deductive skills!" Rai spat sarcastically looking around.

Raimundo turned to look at Omi and saw that Omi's right cheek was puffed into a huge ball bulging out of the side of his face.

"Omi, have you been eating nuts again, you know you are allergic…" Raimundo asked

"Nooo mry groood frrrrnd Raimmmmunnndo, I mr-ate a bee." Omi muffled through enflamed skin.

"Did he just say he ate a bee?" Rai said looking over at Clay, who looked rather ill.

"I don't think I should've eaten that grass…" Clay said throwing up.

"Pleasant." Raimundo muttered.

"Are you going to finish that Clay?" Omi asked, learning to talk through his mutant cheek.

Kimiko almost threw up.

"You obviously have no idea how to cope in an altered form. I can help you." A Calm yet gruff voice called from the darkness.

The Xiaolin dragons automatically took up battle positions, but all ended up being unbalanced and falling over on their faces.

"Who are you?" Omi asked

"Just a friend, who needs your help as much as you need mine,i can see we have much work to do..." The voice called again.

"Hey, I know that voice! Its…" Raimundo said, as a pair of glowing red eyes came into view, the soft clink of armour, the unmistakeable odour of loamanglon soup…

"_Perfeccione, otra nuez!_" Raimundo spat hitting his face with his paw.

Commercial Break! It's the end of another thrilling (_acerca de emocionar como mirando como césped crece) _episode! I hope you will tune in next time when the dragons get a little help! (Don't worry Evil Rai fans! The best is yet to come) ok, Rai says Perfect, another nut!


	5. Chasing your tail

Lets get this straight before we start, I know Brazilians speak Portuguese, not Spanish, it is part of the plot.

"The cat's only natural enemy is the towel."

The episode opens with the four dragon cats, standing on a devilish looking rock in the middle of nowhere. A huge cave door creaks open before them.

"Who is that?" Omi asked, the bulge on the side of his face conveniently absent.

Dojo shrugs, continuing to darn clothes.

"It's the lord of evil." Raimundo said

"… Tubbimura?" Omi asked

"No Omi, not Tubbimura." Rai said, his eyes rolling back. "Lonely rock… Giant skull shaped cave… pillars of flame, any of this ringing a bell baldy?"

"…Rocksha?" Omi asked in genuine confusion.

"Rocksha? No Omi! Rocksha is a SNOWMAN, He can't live near fire!" Rai growled, his face growing red.

"That's a shame, I like Rocksha." Omi said disappointed.

The figure in the dark cleared his throat.

The dragons turned to look at him.

"Sorry Chase, Omi its Chase Young!" Rai growled.

A tuft of thick black hair rose from the darkness, the clink of armour the only sound except for spouts of steam.

"I'm glad someone recognises me, but this is not the time, we need each other." Chase said, stepping into the light.

His thick armour hung loosely from his shoulders as if he was about to slip out of it. A thick black tail flapped furiously from behind, and two tanned ears poked out through his black 'mane' of hair.

"Hey! Chase is a Cat too! Rad! Are you enjoying it as much as I am?" Raimundo asked happily.

Chase's gaze remained its usual emotionless state, and then he smiled, surrendering to Raimundo's childish naïveté.

"Yes, I guess being a cat does have its perks, but I do have a big problem…" Chase said.

"What's that?" Kimiko asked.

"Being a cat, I no longer have authority over by beasts, and they have kicked me out of my cave." Chase said looking at the floor.

"So your cats turned against you?" Clay asked.

"Serves you right for siding with darkness!" Omi trilled, poking his tongue out as he performed 'the dance of happy'.

"But if you can turn people into cats, can't you turn them back too?" Kimiko asked, her voice rising slightly.

"Ppft! Do you think I can cast any kind of incantation with no thumbs?" Chase hissed holding up one tiny tanned paw, the fingers flexed but not nearly far enough to grab anything.

"I see what you mean." Kimiko said.

"Why can't y'all just turn into your lizard form?" Clay asked.

Chase looked at the floor. " Well… I could but…"

"Remove it from your mouth!" Omi spat

"I think he means spit it out," Rai said from the corner, playing cards with himself.

"Well, if I turn into a lizard from this form, I'll still keep many of the features of a cat, paws, ears…" Chase said awkwardly

"So… you'll look like a complete freak?" Clay asked.

"Can you do it?" Kimiko asked lifting her camera.

"No," Chase sighed, "we need to work together to turn back, I assume this is the work of Wuya?"

"Yep, its Wuya all right, with help from Katnappa." Kimiko said.

"So will you let me help you?" Chase asked.

"I don't know. You are evil and on many occasions have tried to endanger us!" Omi spat.

"Oh let him help us! If he tries anything we can always catch him in a towel or something." Raimundo said, still playing cards with himself. " Straight, _full house!_ Darn it! Why do you always win?" Rai muttered.

The others all looked at him, one eyebrow rising.

"Raimundo who are you playing cards with?" Omi asked

"My evil side!" Rai said "And he keeps winning! _Only because I cheat! _What? How can you cheat me? _Its easier then it looks, you are so foolish! _I'LL SHOW YOU FOOLISH!"

Rai tried to punch himself in the face but missed and fell into a crumpled heap of red cotton and tanned fur.

Chase Young's eyebrow rose again. "And master Fung chose you by hand you say?"

Kimiko shot an angered defensive gaze at Chase, who cowered slightly, forgetting how much stronger he was when faced with the gaze of an irate Japanese girl.

"Don't speak out of line Chase or we'll send you back to your lair with your _friends_!" Kimiko snarled.

A sweat mark ran down Chase's face " No, you can't! One of the females has her eye on me…" Chase cried.

Raimundo started laughing as he battled to get upright from his crumpled position on the floor.

Chase stood upright, with surprising balance on his crooked kitten legs.

"How did you do that?" Kimiko gasped.

"I will teach you all to do so, if you promise to use the skills to stop Wuya's plans!" Chase said

"Done and done!" Rai said, struggling upright, then falling back down.

"Let me help you up, friend" Chase said reaching out a paw to Raimundo.

Rai looked cautious for a second, then smiled and extended his paw. Chase promptly pulled him to his feet (as it were) and Rai laughed happily.

"This guy is alright! Dojo, is my shirt done yet?" Rai chirped.

"Just gotta finish Clay's hat… all done, take your clothes guys." Dojo said.

The dragons took clothes piles from dojo. Kimiko looked around.

"Where do we get changed?" Kimiko asked, looking around for a cubicle to no avail.

"Out here." Rai said pulling off his robes.

"WHATT! OUT HERE! NEKKID? WITH CHASE WATCHNG?" Kimiko snarled.

"Oh don't mind me, I'm more interested in dojo than you." Chase said smugly.

"That's a great compliment!" Kimiko snarled. "The network will never allow us to… you know… get nekkid"

"They show nekkid kitties all the time! Animals don't usually wear clothes!" Rai said awkwardly pulling on his favourite Tic-Tac coloured shirt.

"Ok. Just don't look…" Kim said.

"Dojo? What have you done to my shirt? It is supposed to go in at the waist and out at the hips!" Rai growled.

"I'm sorry but I have a tight schedule to keep!" Dojo pouted.

"So dragons are you ready for my training?" Chase young asked.

"Indeed we are!" Omi said, not needing to change his clothes.

"Then lets begin…" Chase grinned evilly.

END OF PART 1! Don't you hate the way the commercial break comes on just when it's getting good, and if you get up and go to the toilet you always miss the first few minutes of the second half? (But if you are lucky the first few minutes are a re-run of the last few minutes of the first half in slightly different animation.)


	6. Gotta have a montage!

(Incantations generally come in tomes, no one ever remembers all the words! that's why Chase can't incant without thumbs, I thought that was common sense! Also cats can "Grab and hold" Things but they cannot do anything complicated like turn the pages in a book as their thumbs do not bend far enough. )

The scene begins on a lonely rock surrounded by fire and brimstone. The dragons all stand around Chase Young.

"Xiaolin dragons, it is time to commence with your altered form training!" Chase exclaimed, but stopped abruptly, flicked his tail awkwardly and grinned inanely. The dragons all looked at each other, then back at Chase. Raimundo waved one paw in front of Chase's face.

"Hello.. Chase…" Rai muttered.

Chase suddenly snapped out of his moment.

"Sorry.. I was just remembering a naughty limerick." Chase said turning his full attention to the dragons.

An eyebrow rose from each of the dragons as they watched Chase standing there, doing nothing.

"and…" Raimundo said.

Chase looked at him bewildered.

"What are you waiting for?" Kimiko asked.

"The montage! What else! Can't have training without a montage!" Chase said looking angrily at the sky. "Well writer? Where is my montage?" he growled again.

"Sorry!" I call thinking how to type the montage.

The montage begins, the music in the background is some random Japanese song sung by Puffy Ami Yumi, why? We don't know. I just like Puffy Ami Yumi

Chase is standing on two legs next to a large pole, he nods at Kimiko, who tries to stand upright using the pole as a lever, but she falls flat on her face.

Next Chase is showing Clay how to pick up a rock, Clay manages to hold it, but drops it on his foot and yelps in pain.

Next Chase is pointing at a spear, motioning for Omi to pick it up, but Omi seems more interested in the bee flying over his head. Chase points to the spear again, now furious, but turns back to see Omi's cheek swelled up as the bee flies out of Omi's mouth.

Next Chase is smiling at Raimundo, who is standing shakily upright. Rai reaches for something to grab onto to steady him and chase hits Rai's hand with a stick (like in all those kung fu training movies). Rai looks at Chase, who tells Rai not to grab onto anything. Rai then extends his chaws and jumps on Chase, chunks of armor and black and tanned fur flying.

The scene then shows the four dragons all standing, doing high fives as Chase tries desperately to get up.

The montage ends YAY!

The scene reverts to Chase with a bandage around his head and the four dragons, all standing up on two legs holding Shen Gong Wu.

"You have all done very well, you all appear to be able to hold your own if forced to fight in your altered forms." Chase said, keeping one eye trained on Raimundo and his fur-covered claws.

"So… What now?" Omi asked.

"Erm.. Omi… do you know there is a very large _Pandinus imperator _on your shoulder?" Chase asked

Omi looked confused

"An emperor scorpion?" Chase said, looking at the black armored beast raise it's claws and tail in battle position.

"I will not fall to your foolish pranks Chase Young, We do not get scorpions on lonely rocks in the middle of nowhere!" Omi said

Chase, Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay all backed away slowly.

"What?" Omi said

The scorpion stung.

"What was that?" Omi shouted rubbing his cheek. The scorpion jumped off his shoulder and ran towards Raimundo, crawled into his shoe and went to sleep.

"Erm… Oh they do have big mosquitoes here!" Rai said, rubbing the back of his neck as Kimiko glared at him. Rai simply smiled awkwardly shuffling his feet and wondering if scorpion stings were fatal.

"Anyway…" Chase said interrupting the moment, "What is you're plan now that you have learned to live as cats and use their abilities to your advantage?" Chase continued.

"We don't have a plan," Omi said rubbing his cheek.

Raimundo snarled.

"oh yes, Raimundo has a plan" Omi said

A Reassured grin crossed Rai's face.

"But it is very foolish and will never work so we might as well not have one!" Omi said.

Rai almost exploded. "Oh yeah chrome dome, I don't see YOU jumping up with a raised claw eager to put forward your brilliant amazing plan!"

"Easy Raimundo.. Omi has not yet learned to respect the feelings of those he does not trust." Chase said.

"How can anyone not trust me?" Rai cried.

"you have a scorpion in your shoe." Chase said.

"… you have a point there…" Rai said.

"And you speak Spanish." Chase continued.

"And…" Raimundo's eyebrow rose, expecting to hear another lecture about the antichrist.

"You claim to be _Brazilian_ but you speak _Spanish_." Chase said.

Rai stopped and stared at Chase. "My dad's side of the family are from Honduras." Rai said.

"That explains a lot…" Clay said through a mouthful of grass.

"Clay… where did you get that grass from?" Kimiko asked.

"Internet" Clay said continuing to chomp.

Kimiko's face went green as if she was about to be sick.

"Your face is nearly the same colour as a morbakka jellyfish, I saw one once in…" Chase began

"Brazil maybe? Will everyone please stop talking about jellyfish?" Raimundo cut Chase off.

"Sorry, it's the writers fault." Chase said.

"Darn writer…" Clay said vomiting grass on the floor.

"Ok… now I really think I'm going to be sick…" Kimiko said running off.

Clay was still vomiting and Omi was chasing another bee.

Chase and Rai stood next to each other.

"So, you never told me about you… Kimiko showed me that photo of you in that dress. You look quite… nice" Chase said slipping an arm around Raimundo's waist and grinning at him.

The next scene was Raimundo screaming and running as fast as he could the other dragons followed.

"What's wrong Rai?" Kimiko asked.

"Something I could never bring myself to say…" Raimundo panted.

Back at the cave, Chase laughed evilly. "Thank the spirits of evil! I thought I'd never get rid of them, and the best part is I've probably messed with that effeminate Brazilian's head forever! He'll probably never be the same again!" Chase continued laughing as he went back into his cave to catch the second half of Teen Titans.

End of This part! I have very much lost track of what part this is! never mind! Catch you next time.

Oooh yes and if you are wondering the relevancy of all the Spanish stuff don't worry, it should all become apparent in my NEXT fiction…


	7. Where is my hoodie?

Dedicated in loving memory of Spud the Crocodile Gecko. Died 26/6/05. I miss you buddy!

The scene opens with a view of the temple doors flying open and then slamming back as Raimundo pressed himself against then, ribs heaving with the fatigue of running all the way from Chase Young's cave. The other dragons had the common sense to ride Dojo home and were attempting to play Texas Hold 'em (and failing miserably because they couldn't hold the cards).

"What took you?" Kimiko asked dropping her hand all over the floor.

Rai's face turned red.

"What took me? Did you not just see what Chase Young did?" Raimundo spluttered while attempting to clean himself with one shaky paw.

"Nope." Kim said trying to collect up her cards again.

Rai shook off his fear and looked around at Omi, Clay and Kimiko, seeming perfectly content with just playing cards.

"Well…" Rai asked.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Well what Rai?" Kimiko said.

"Well, have we all forgotten about my brilliant plan?" Raimundo growled.

"Go do it then genius." Kimiko said scratching her ear with her hind paw.

"Aren't you going to help me?" Rai asked.

"Nope." Clay said

"It's your plan." Kimiko enforced.

Rai's face went red again. "Fine then!" He pouted storming (as kittens do) off into the sleeping quarters.

After a couple of minutes of rustling and clattering noises, with the occasional yelp of frustration, Raimundo called.

"Has anyone seen my white hoodie?" Rai asked

"What is it with you and that hoodie?" Clay asked scratching his ear.

"It's a visual aid! Like some character's eyes or hair change colour, I wear a different shirt!" Raimundo pouted.

"Like Bull in B-daman?" Clay asked.

"Or Raven in Teen Titans?" Kimiko asked.

"Yes. Just like Bull and Raven." Raimundo sighed, his eyes rolling back.

"So what good is a visual aid in a script written fiction like this one?" Kimiko asked.

Raimundo fell silent for a second, the looked up at the sky.

"Yeah writer, what is with a visual aid in a scrip-French... Baal… whatever Kimiko said!" Raimundo growled.

I shrug and take another sip at my glass of tomato juice and chomp on another handful of frozen peas.

"…Stupid writer…" Raimundo sneered.

"Now Raimundo, I thought after all this time you would learn not to question the powers of the great writer!" Omi said tearing a roll of toilet paper to shreds.

"Where did you get that toilet paper from Omi?" Raimundo asked.

"Outer web!" Omi said.

"I think you mean Internet." Kimiko corrected.

"I KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Omi exploded, his voice so loud it blew the three dragon cats across the room.

"Whoa! What happened there?" Raimundo asked, trying to pull himself out from under Clay.

"Oh, he's been like that ever since he started drinking out of the toilet." Kimiko said.

"Cats aren't supposed to drink out of the toilet! I bet this is the writers doing!" Raimundo barked.

"No, actually I just like to drink out of the toilet!" Omi said.

There was a moment of silence, first broken by Raimundo stating:

"Anyway… Have any of you seen my hoodie?" Raimundo asked.

"Sure have, its in Kimiko's room." Clay said.

"Thanks Clay! But what is it doing in your room Kim?" Rai asked.

"I've been cuddling it when I sleep…" She said awkwardly shuffling her feet.

"Rai looked at her worried. "Why?" He asked.

"Because I'm insecure." Kimiko said shakily.

"Oh, that explains everything! Come on Dojo, let's go fix my shirt!" Raimundo said chirpily.

Raimundo left and Clay and Kimiko looked at each other.

"That's a week of chores you owe me Kimiko!" Clay grinned.

"Darn it! I really thought he'd freak out!" Kimiko growled.

There is one of those black fade outs indicating a fifteen minute break.

The fade re-opens at a scene of Raimundo at the door of Katnappa's ocean view Condo. The air was heavy with the smell of wet fur and fresh fish.

Raimundo straightened his hoodie, licked his paw and ran it through his hair to flatten it down and tried to make himself look as cute as possible. He raised a paw to knock on the door, and then lowered it. This would make it too obvious. After thinking for a minute, he extended his claws and scratched at the door, finding it to be more fun than he had first expected, he got carried away.

The door opened and Rai fell flat on his face. He scrambled to his feet and looked up into the deep eyes of Katnappa.

"Hey Katnappa… What's up?" Raimundo asked shakily.

All Katnappa heard was an adorable squeaky "Mau!" sound.

One of Katnappa's eyebrows rose as she looked down at the mauing mass of tanned fur adorned in a white hooded top.

Wuya hovered over Katnappa's shoulder. "What is it now Katnappa…" Wuya said, but stopped, her eyes widening and breathing in deeply "RAIMUNDO?" She gasped.

"Mau?" Raimundo squeaked.

Wuya's shocked expression suddenly became an evil grin as she smiled down on him, sniggering. "So, have you come to beg for mercy?" Wuya laughed.

"Mau." Raimundo squeaked.

"What?" Wuya asked.

"Mau." Rai Squeaked again.

"I don't understand…" Wuya asked.

Rai's little kitten face turned Red.

"MAU!" He snapped, then suddenly realised that humanoids must hear only his cat speech.

He flopped the white hood over his head and pawed it down into position, hoping that Wuya would understand his action.

Wuya's evil grin fell into a considering gaze. "So, you want to join us Raimundo?" Wuya asked.

"Mau!" Raimundo nodded smiling (if cats can smile), relieved that she finally understood.

"Well forget it! You betrayed me once, how can I trust you?" Wuya snapped.

Raimundo thought for a second then turned his head round and grabbed the sword of the storm from a sheath on his back with his teeth. He put the sword on the floor and nudged it towards her with his nose.

"The sword of the storm?" Wuya asked.

Raimundo shook his head and pointed at the base of the sword. Affixed to the base was the eye of Dashi.

Wuya looked for a second, rubbing her chin. "I'm still not sure…"

"Oh just let him join already! It'll be nice to have a tomcat around here! Plus he is really cute!" Katnappa said Picking Raimundo up and looking into his wide, frightened eyed. "We're going to have a lot of fun together!" Katnappa grinned walking inside.

"Nooo!" (Or more like "Mau!") Raimundo called, struggling to escape as the door closed behind them.

COMMERCIAL BREAK! Lets all go write an angry letter to your mother for not letting you have a cat! Don't forget the dog poop!


	8. Adios gato!

This is your last chapter NO MORE!'8' is my favourite number so 8 chappies are all you get!

I do not condone racism in any form and racial discrimination against Brazilians, Kittens and Tic Tacs is wrong.

Raimundo struggled in vain attempts to escape the tenacious hold of an affectionate Katnappa, who rubbed her head against his affectionately as cats do. He was disgusted by the thought she might be 'scenting' him. He struggled again and fell to the floor, quickly finding his feet.

"Me-ow… what is wrong Raimundo?" Katnappa asked.

"Mau!" Raimundo answered.

Katnappa looked completely blank but then her face lit up.

"That's it! You must be hungry!" She grinned.

"_Mau_!" Raimundo squeaked.

Katnappa pranced happily into what appeared to be the kitchen. Raimundo shrugged and reluctantly followed, the thought of pizza and ice cream breaking horrific views of Katnappa hugging him again.

Katnappa scraped something into a bowl on the floor and smiled at Rai.

Rai's eyebrow rose slightly.

"You expect me to eat this?" He asked poking the substance. "Choice tender cuts of rat and pigeon meat in a rich, creamy bile sauce? NO WAY!" Rai spat.

Of course to Katnappa this bold and heroic statement was "Mau!"

The other cats in the kitchen looked at their meals and pushed them away.

"The obnoxious ocelot tom is right, this food stinks!" One cat muttered.

"Hey! I can understand you!" Raimundo called, an unmistakable grin spreading across his face.

"Well why wouldn't you? You been in the hot sun too long _Hombre_?" another maued.

"_Hombre_? No I'm Brazilian, not Mexican!" Raimundo growled, his pink kitty nose crinkling up.

"Well I'm Siamese… you going somewhere with this…" The female mused making an offensive gesture with her paws.

Rai got angry.

"If you like being Brazilian so much why not go back there and live in the forest with the Maned wolves!" Another kitty growled. (Racism is wrong)

"THAT WAS WRONG! That was clearly blatant racism!" Raimundo growled.

"So, Cats are allowed to be racist, there is no law against it for cats, Forest boy!" another Kitty maued.

Rai got angrier.

"It's nice to see you getting along so well!" Katnappa smiled down, completely oblivious to what they were saying.

Rai snapped.

He latched on to Katnappa's face and bit her.

"OW! WHAT THE? GET OFF! KITTIES ATTACK!" Katnappa shouted.

The kittens hesitated.

"Hold up… attack? Our own kind? That's Sick!" One kitten said.

"Yeah he may be an outsider but we can't hurt him!" Another cat said.

"Plus he has a hot accent!" One cat said.

They all turned to look at her.

"…What? He does!" The kitten mewed.

"Why aren't you helping?" Katnappa snarled, trying to wrench Raimundo off her face.

The kittens whistled and filed their nails.

Katnappa finally managed to pry Raimundo off her face and he swatted vainly at her as she held his up in front of her by his shirt.

"YOU… Any last words before I exact my revenge?" Katnappa said, practically writhing with anger.

Raimundo smiled.

"Mau!" He said assertively taking off his shoe.

The emperor scorpion, awoken by a great amount of noise and confusion, was suddenly thrown upon Katnappa's face.

She quickly realised what it was and flailed her arms rapidly, squealing like a pig.

She dropped Rai who picked up the (ever so conveniently placed) Sword of the storm and used it on her. Katnappa was blown out of the window and into the sea.

Wuya watched all of this hovering just above Raimundo's head. He turned and grinned at her.

"Never work with Children or animals!" Wuya said flying off through the wall.

For a moment there was silence but it was soon broken by one of the kittens saying:

"Hey… she is gone! Now we can eat goldfish to out hearts content!" One kitten said.

"How can we ever repay you obnoxious Ocelot?" One kitty asked.

"First off you could tell me where Katnappa keeps her Shen Gong Wu…" Raimundo asked.

"Under the mattress of her bed." The kitten said. (The most obvious place to keep valuables).

"And secondly…" Raimundo said.

The scene cuts to Raimundo walking triumphantly through the doors of the temple carrying the Soul of Sai Ping and the Reversing mirror.

"You made it!" Omi trilled happily.

"Always do!" Raimundo smiled.

"I guess all our problems really CAN be solved by Rai going evil every once in a while!" Kimiko said.

"It that the moral of the story?" Clay asked licking himself.

"Nope, the moral is: Never trust a cat!" Raimundo grinned.

Everyone stared blankly.

"That sucked!" Kimiko blurted.

"That's the last time we leave you in charge of the moral!" Omi said.

"Do you have any better ideas?" Rai asked.

"Never trust someone with a scorpion in their shoe!" Kimiko said.

(Obligatory laughing scene)

"Now we get back to normal!" Raimundo said holding up the reversing mirror.

"Soul of Sai ping!" Kimiko called.

"Reversing mirror!" Raimundo mewed.

Suddenly there was a flash of bright light and everyone was returned to normal (including their clothes because the network refused to have any ripped clothes because it was too risqué).

"Good to be back!" Kimiko said stroking her face with her hands.

"Indeed!" Omi said standing on his hand.

Clay did a typical stance and Raimundo did a back flip.

"So… everything is back to normal then." Kimiko stated.

"Not exactly…" Rai said grinning.

Kimiko looked at Rai, encouraging him to speak further.

"I know Katnappa has always wanted to be a cat so…" Rai Grinned.

Everyone laughed.

(Another obligatory laughing scene.

"After that if I see one more cute fluffy kitten I'll…" Kimiko said

Raimundo bit his bottom lip.

Kimiko stared angrily at him.

"What is it?" She growled, one eyebrow rose.

"I… got you a… present?" Raimundo said, opening the door to about a hundred kittens, who all piled through the door.

"Raimundo…" Said Kimiko through gritted teeth.

"Y… yes Kimiko?" Raimundo asked shakily.

Kimiko picked up a palm laptop and edged slowly towards him. He swallowed hard and ran as fast as he could.

Master Fung walked in the room and his face lit up with joy.

"I am so happy you remembered my birthday Raimundo! And A Kittens are what I always wanted from when I was a little boy. My mother always said, 'you can't have cats, they are smelly' but it didn't stop me wanting them! Thank you Raimundo! You are the greatest Dragon of all! Now I'll put these kittens in a safe place!" Master Fung said taking a handful of kittens into another room to join his other kitten and his snake.

L'end!

Ok let's tie off the loose ends:

Katnappa got changed into a cat forever and lived a happy life as a single mother with 8 kittens.

Wuya made up with jack and to torturer her he ate a whole ice cream sundae teasing her all the way through about how good it tasted.

The scorpion got a well-paid acting career and has appeared in 15 spaghetti westerns.

The Kittens in master Fung's room had a food revolt.

Raimundo never managed to get that palm laptop out of his…

Hope you enjoyed the last instalment of Meowlin showdown and please Read and Review!


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